Jump to content

The Race Is On!


Guest Judge Ito
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Judge Ito

I propose a new reality show. The mayor and his cronies versus a highly selective ccompetive team made up of:

Kato Kaelin

Spuds Mckenzie

Snyder "from one day at a time"

3CPO "Star Wars" Need I say more

Vs

The Champs

First a preemptive strike from the Hudson County All Stars. They reprogram 3CPO and make him the puppet superintendnet of schools, reducing the 12 other guys grandfathered by Frankie goes to hollywood redundant. Of course more kick backs for everyone! 3PO's a puppet, I mean a robot! Considering no one on the opposing team could even work a cell phone let alone turn on a computer, it's amazing. Then again it is Hudson County.

1-0 La Costra Nostra

Tough one considering 3P0 knows 6000 languages and has never needed an irregular oil change for kissing anyones *ss. He did seem to somehwat care about R2. But that's a whole other challenge.

Next Occurence is a shocker.............

Kato, in an amazing move, withdraws from the opposing team and accepts a position as the Head of the Harrison Redevelopment-Entertainment Commitee. As anyone knows you need a high profile guy to trump up the possibility of Harrison becoming an entertainment mecca. With Kato on board, Eisner commits to build another Disney theme park that will span from the eastern little league dugout to down neck Newark and crescendo into the entrance way to the new soccer stadium called "Never gonna happen, but thanks for the kickbacks entryway"

Deniro even stops by an uses a porto-potty. Did anyone get a video?

Two Down but the opposition has it toughest players left..............

I know you may feel let down by the domination of the champions at this point and maybe want to hear Richard Dawson say that "subzero" is now going to be the next stalker. But what's fair is fair and C3PO was a foreigner in a tradionally white no command of any language community. Undertsood? Let the games begin!

Not for nothing but did you think a beer touting pitbull could be stopped in this town? Spudds is an instant celelbrity. Free Bud Light for anyone in any bar he decides to occupy. He even intervenes on a good bar fight about whether a nickel is worth more than a dime. Brilliant! If Harrison had a Thanksgiving parade he'd be leading it. As a matter of fact he might displace the crips at the Halloween parade. Gangbangers love pitbulls with free beer and 20 year old girls representing Anheuiser Busch.

Cathcing Up..........................

In the most amazing test yet, Snyder VS the Mayor at The old Stadium? In A skills Challenge. A Replica Of the Leaning Tower of Pisa will be constructed. Both Contestats will start at the top and make their way to the bottom.There will be various plumbing imperfections strung about the building. But Here's the Catch..... And there both different! So get ready contestants!

For you Snyder.....................

You will desecend a different corridor then your opponent. Behind 2 out of a possible 15 doors will be your former co-stars from "One day at a time". If you pick open the door with Bonnie Franklin. You will will be accosted by a multitdue of Eddie scisscors hands and Trent Reznor Look alikes and be relieved of your much beloved facial hair and be dropped into the heart of Jerusalem with a Hitler-esque mustache. But if you choose wisely you will get to **** Valerie Bertonelli while her husband, Eddie Van Halen, basks in the golry of playing the Harrison High 85 Prom.

Mayor. You will be operating from the opposite side. The one the overlooks the million dollar parking lot, that used to be an italian restauraunt. Go Spuds!!!

OK your challenge. First we will be letting 500 residents who already have 1 high paying apppointed town job but would like to double their salalry by being appointed to another crucial capicty, storm the tower from below. Avoid the 2 the people who don't operate in this capacity already and you could move on toward victory. Next we'll let thousand's of *ss kissers that weren't swayed by Spudds, rush the tower with dreams of town jobs. Avoid them and evade the plumber's union rep collecting dues and you will be champion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...