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Mayor Higgins To Seek Re-Election

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According to an unconfirmed report, Mayor Peter B. Higgins, III., will seek another term as mayor in November of 2006. Such report has Higgins further claiming that, “my surrogate and assistant, Raymond, is onboard with me in this bid.”

“There’s no doubt about the strength of a Pete/Ray ticket here,” Higgins predicted. “Come on, we got the Passaic Valley guys behind us. And you don’t think I can’t get the HFD guys out election night to ring doorbells? Yeah, right! These guys know where their promotions and pensions are coming from.”

“On a personal note, Raymond is actually a sweet guy,” Higgins noted regarding McDonough. “Once in awhile, I let him sit behind the mayor’s desk. I’ll tell you, he gets a real kick out of that! You got to see it. It almost looks like the real thing.”

Just mere weeks away from the finish line of this year’s state gubernatorial race, response was mixed in response to Higgins’ early announcement.

“No surprise here,” James Fife, local businessman and former principal of Harrison High School, mused. Fife is rumored to be a credible contender for Higgins’ seat in ’06.

“What?” Councilman Arthur Pettigrew asked. “Higgins is running for re-election? I mean, wasn’t McDonough mayor? Higgins is our mayor? Really creepy, man. Just like that ‘dead’ thing with those other guys…really creepy, man.”

When reached on his cell phone at a local eatery, Raymond McDonough claimed he was not aware of any such announcement from Higgins. McDonough, however, did reply that “if Pete said it, then it’s so.”

Asked about the up-coming mayoral election next year, Councilman O. John DiSalvo admonished local politicians by reminding them that it must be the defeat of “Nixon and Cahill” that should be uppermost on their minds. “We must stand strong behind Hubert Humphrey and Richard Hughes,” DiSalvo exhorted.

When asked for an assessment of any potential candidate for mayor, Town Schools Superintendent and Town Historian, Anthony Comprelli, observed, “Never in our town’s history have I known so many to be ‘called’ but so few that are able. In other words, your guess is as bad as mine.”

Higgins was both defeated as councilman and then confirmed as mayor in November of 1998 by Councilman James P. Doran. Doran holds the dubious distinction of being the only one who both won an election and then lose to his opponent at the same time.

Comprelli refused to comment upon this duality in democracy.

The”Committee to Re-Elect Higgins/McDonough Mayor ‘06’” will hold an Announcement Party at the Hampton Inn before year’s end.

(Again, this was an unconfirmed report.)

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