Hey, It's your bible....

[Guest Keith-Marshall,Mo.]

CULINARY DEPARTMENT

"...Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" --Isaiah 36:12; also in II Kings 18:27.

The lord commanded: "And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight." --Ezekiel 4:12.

"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." --Levitcus 26:29.

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons, and of thy daughters which the LORD thy god hath given thee..." --Deuteronomy 28:53.

"So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son." --2 Kings 6:29.

JUSTICE

"When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets; then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her." --Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD." --Deuteronomy 23:1.

"...the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction; and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods (piles) in their secret parts." --1 Samuel 5:9.

The lord was appeased, however, after the men had made golden images of their emerods (piles). --1 Samuel 6:4.

HYGIENE

The lord promised: "Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall..." --1 Kings 14:10. (This unsanitary practice caused some serious erosion of the mud walls).

SLAPSTICK COMEDY

The lord threatened his children: "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces." --Malachi 2:3.

SPORT

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." --Psalms 137:9.

"And he (David) brought out the people that were in it and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David with all the cities of the children of Ammon." --1 Chronicles 20:3.

"And he (David) brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln." --2 Samuel 12:31.

GRAND OPERA

"Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kir-haresh." --Isaiah 16:11.

SELF IMPROVEMENT

"...(become) eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake." --Matthew 19:12. (Origen, Paul and other early Christians faithfully carried out this divine injunction.)

"Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee: cut them off, and cast them from thee." --Matthew 18:8.

BURLESQUE

God said to Moses: "And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen." --Exodus 33:23.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

"Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." -- Ezekiel 23:19-20.

"...so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and that they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning..." (She died) --Judges 19:25.

King Saul asked 100 foreskins in return for his daughter in marriage. David zealously pared off 200 Philistine prepuces to win his bride. --I Samuel 19:25-27.

"And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto they brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother." --Genesis 38:8-9.

BEDTIME STORIES

The men of Sodom wanted to bugger two angels abiding with Lot. Lot said, "Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known a man; let me, I pray you, bring them unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes." --Genesis 19:8.

But the Sodomites preferred male angels. The Lot family escaped; Mrs. Lot looked back, became a pillar of salt; father Lot and daughters fled to a cave, at which time the elder daughter proposed: "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father." --Genesis 19:32.

"Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father." --Genesis 19:36.

Moses told his soldiers: "Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." --Numbers 31:17-18.

FULFILLED PROMISES

Christ demanded: "But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." --Luke 19:27.

Christ announced: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." --Matthew 10:34.

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." --Exodus 22:18. Thanks to the vigilance of good Christians, witches were killed in great numbers before the year 1712.

Im so glad that God "loves" Me

Hey, It's your bible..........

[billydee4]

CULINARY DEPARTMENT

"...Hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" --Isaiah 36:12; also in II Kings 18:27.

The lord commanded: "And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight." --Ezekiel 4:12.

"And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat." --Levitcus 26:29.

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons, and of thy daughters which the LORD thy god hath given thee..." --Deuteronomy 28:53.

"So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son." --2 Kings 6:29. 

JUSTICE

"When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets; then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her." --Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD." --Deuteronomy 23:1.

"...the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction; and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods (piles) in their secret parts." --1 Samuel 5:9.

The lord was appeased, however, after the men had made golden images of their emerods (piles). --1 Samuel 6:4. 

HYGIENE

The lord promised: "Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall..." --1 Kings 14:10. (This unsanitary practice caused some serious erosion of the mud walls). 

SLAPSTICK COMEDY

The lord threatened his children: "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces." --Malachi 2:3. 

SPORT

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." --Psalms 137:9.

"And he (David) brought out the people that were in it and cut them with saws, and with harrows of iron, and with axes. Even so dealt David with all the cities of the children of Ammon." --1 Chronicles 20:3.

"And he (David) brought forth the people that were therein, and put them under saws and under harrows of iron, and under axes of iron, and made them pass through the brick-kiln." --2 Samuel 12:31.

GRAND OPERA

"Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kir-haresh." --Isaiah 16:11.

SELF IMPROVEMENT

"...(become) eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake." --Matthew 19:12. (Origen, Paul and other early Christians faithfully carried out this divine injunction.)

"Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee: cut them off, and cast them from thee." --Matthew 18:8.

 

BURLESQUE

God said to Moses: "And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen." --Exodus 33:23.

 

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

"Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses." -- Ezekiel 23:19-20.

"...so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and that they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning..." (She died) --Judges 19:25.

King Saul asked 100 foreskins in return for his daughter in marriage. David zealously pared off 200 Philistine prepuces to win his bride. --I Samuel 19:25-27.

"And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto they brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother." --Genesis 38:8-9.

BEDTIME STORIES

The men of Sodom wanted to bugger two angels abiding with Lot. Lot said, "Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known a man; let me, I pray you, bring them unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes." --Genesis 19:8.

But the Sodomites preferred male angels. The Lot family escaped; Mrs. Lot looked back, became a pillar of salt; father Lot and daughters fled to a cave, at which time the elder daughter proposed: "Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father." --Genesis 19:32.

"Thus were both daughters of Lot with child by their father." --Genesis 19:36.

Moses told his soldiers: "Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves." --Numbers 31:17-18.

 

FULFILLED PROMISES

Christ demanded: "But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." --Luke 19:27.

Christ announced: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." --Matthew 10:34.

"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." --Exodus 22:18. Thanks to the vigilance of good Christians, witches were killed in great numbers before the year 1712.

Im so glad that God "loves" Me

Hey, It's your bible..........

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wonderful. The only mistake I saw was that the great Philistine foreskin collection is is in 1 Samuel 18, not 19.

I also noted, to my delight, how various other versions change what the KJV has.

[Bryan]

Looks like Keith's a plagiarist.

http://www.atheists.org/christianity/guide.html

[Guest Keith-Marshall,Mo]

Looks like Keith's a plagiarist.

http://www.atheists.org/christianity/guide.html

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In order to be considered a plagiarist, wouldn't I have needed to claim that I had actually written them? If you wanted a source, it was .......the BIBLE!

I merely pointed out that they are interesting bible quotes.

If you have a problem with the content, author or source then that is your problem.

If find it interesting that was all of a response that you could come up with. I still challenge to to provide me with indisputable proof of Gods existence.

[Guest DingoDave]

Looks like Keith's a plagiarist.

http://www.atheists.org/christianity/guide.html

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Get over yourself Bryan. It was only a posting on an obscure internet forum. Keith wasn't preparing a university assignment or writing a textbook.

You take yourself far too seriously, you pretentious wanker.

[Guest Keith-Marshall,Mo.]

Get over yourself Bryan. It was only a posting on an obscure internet forum. Keith wasn't preparing a university assignment or writing a textbook.

You take yourself far too seriously, you pretentious wanker.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanx Dave, I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Bryan]

In order to be considered a plagiarist, wouldn't I have needed to claim that I had actually written them?

What do you think it means when you post something and then add your name to it at the end?

If you wanted a source, it was .......the BIBLE!

Your post, with its distinctive order and headings, is not found in the Bible. It is, however, found at an atheist site with an explicit copyright attached.

I merely pointed out that they are interesting bible quotes.

And you could not have done that while attributing it to the organization that holds the copyright?

If you have a problem with the content, author or source then that is your problem.

Some problem!

If find it interesting that was all of a response that you could come up with.

Why should I put more effort into addressing your post than you put in writing it?

I still challenge to to provide me with indisputable proof of Gods existence.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There is no indisputable proof of God's existence, AFAICT, so I continue to wonder why you'd offer such a stupid and meaningless challenge.

Probably the same reason you ignore copyrights. You want to look better than you are.

[Guest Guest]

What do you think it means when you post something and then add your name to it at the end?

Your post, with its distinctive order and headings, is not found in the Bible.  It is, however, found at an atheist site with an explicit copyright attached.

And you could not have done that while attributing it to the organization that holds the copyright?

Some problem! 

Why should I put more effort into addressing your post than you put in writing it? 

There is no indisputable proof of God's existence, AFAICT, so I continue to wonder why you'd offer such a stupid and meaningless challenge.

Probably the same reason you ignore copyrights.  You want to look better than you are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Really? Copyrights generally come into play when one is using copyrighted material for profit. So who do I go to to pay royalties for excerpts from the Bible?

Do you represent some sort of Biblical ASCAP or BMI? Are you the self-appointed copyright cop for the supposed word of "God"? Am I going to hell now because I screwed the lord out of some royalties?

FYI, I didn't get that particular info from the atheist website that you liked to, but if that's where it origninated in that format then something tells me that they won't mind. Is that the best you got? Are you maybe just a little angry that someone is pointing out some of the folly that is the bible? A fine example again of splitting hairs that didn't need to be split. Bravo!

[billydee4]

What do you think it means when you post something and then add your name to it at the end?

Your post, with its distinctive order and headings, is not found in the Bible.  It is, however, found at an atheist site with an explicit copyright attached.

And you could not have done that while attributing it to the organization that holds the copyright?

Some problem! 

Why should I put more effort into addressing your post than you put in writing it? 

There is no indisputable proof of God's existence, AFAICT, so I continue to wonder why you'd offer such a stupid and meaningless challenge.

Probably the same reason you ignore copyrights.  You want to look better than you are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nice misdirection, bry, now try to rationalize the actual bible quotes, or do they just don't mean what they mean.

[Guest Guest]

What do you think it means when you post something and then add your name to it at the end?

Your post, with its distinctive order and headings, is not found in the Bible.  It is, however, found at an atheist site with an explicit copyright attached.

And you could not have done that while attributing it to the organization that holds the copyright?

Some problem! 

Why should I put more effort into addressing your post than you put in writing it? 

There is no indisputable proof of God's existence, AFAICT, so I continue to wonder why you'd offer such a stupid and meaningless challenge.

Probably the same reason you ignore copyrights.  You want to look better than you are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, finally you've admitted that you cannot offer any proof that there is a god. A stupid and meaningless challenge? Sounds like a desperate response to me Bryan.

Maybe it's time for you to shut the hell up about it.

[Bryan]

Ok, finally you've admitted that you cannot offer any proof that there is a god. A stupid and meaningless challenge? Sounds like a desperate response to me Bryan.

Maybe it's time for you to shut the hell up about it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Shut up about what?

While I don't think there's absolute proof of the existence of God, there are good evidences for the existence of God, and I mentioned them weeks ago at KOTW in response to people like you who think they're making some type of terrific argument by changing the subject from whatever it is (Hell unjust => prove god exists -hey, we're on the subject of god! or whatever).

Calling it a "desperate response" seems like a desperate attempt on your part to make it seem like I've had to back off from a claim that I've made and change the subject yet again.

[Guest Guest]

Shut up about what?

While I don't think there's absolute proof of the existence of God, there are good evidences for the existence of God, and I mentioned them weeks ago at KOTW in response to people like you who think they're making some type of terrific argument by changing the subject from whatever it is (Hell unjust => prove god exists -hey, we're on the subject of god! or whatever).

Calling it a "desperate response" seems like a desperate attempt on your part to make it seem like I've had to back off from a claim that I've made and change the subject yet again.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Gee, I don't know. You go on and on and on and on and on but when asked to prove any existence of god to perhaps prove your point, you call it a "stupid and meaningless challenge". Please refresh me with said "evidences" as I really do not have the time or inclination to wade through every absurdly long winded post that you have on this board.

[Bryan]

Gee, I don't know. You go on and on and on and on and on but when asked to prove any existence of god to perhaps prove your point, you call it a "stupid and meaningless challenge".

Figure out when that was ever my point, and maybe you can make a case for it not being a stupid and meaningless question.

Please refresh me with said "evidences" as I really do not have the time or inclination to wade through every absurdly long winded post that you have on this board.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So you weren't really that interested to begin with. You just wanted to change the subject (just as I surmised).

[Guest Keith-Marshall,MO]

Figure out when that was ever my point, and maybe you can make a case for it not being a stupid and meaningless question.

So you weren't really that interested to begin with.  You just wanted to change the subject (just as I surmised).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If you believe in miracles then maybe someday you'll actually answer a question.

[Guest WildBill]

Man's idea of God or even his or her collusion with any God may be hard to comprehend unless one has seen a divine intervention take place.

[Bryan]

Nice misdirection, bry, now try to rationalize the actual bible quotes, or do they just don't mean what they mean.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What do you think they mean, Billy?

And why are you so eager to overlook plagiarism?

[Bryan]

If you believe in miracles then maybe someday you'll actually answer a question.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Did you miss that Guest whiffed on my question to him with an "I don't know"? A question that, if had answered it with something reasonable, could have justified the question you want me to answer?

Apparently so ... and will Keith answer any of these questions?

[Guest Keith-Marshall,Mo]

Did you miss that Guest whiffed on my question to him with an "I don't know"?  A question that, if had answered it with something reasonable, could have justified the question you want me to answer?

Apparently so ... and will Keith answer any of these questions?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What question? Give me a specific question and I'll try to answer it.

How does one plagarize the bible? I told you before that list of quotes was e-mailed to me by a friend. I chose to share it on here. You are the one that tracked down that is was from an atheist website. I NEVER claimed to write any of it yet you continue to harp and split hairs that I am a plagarist. If you don't like the passages that were posted that's your problem. Like I said ....it's your bible and you are still a dick!

[billydee4]

What do you think they mean, Billy?

And why are you so eager to overlook plagiarism?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Plagiarism is not the issue here. Fundies will use words spoken or written by other fundies without citing them. They swallow their lies whole and then vomit them up to prove their point.

The bible quotes are clear. I don't find anything spiritual or hidden in them.

[Bryan]

Did you miss that Guest whiffed on my question to him with an "I don't know"?  A question that, if had answered it with something reasonable, could have justified the question you want me to answer?

Apparently so ... and will Keith answer any of these questions?

What question? Give me a specific question and I'll try to answer it.

1) Did you miss that Guest whiffed on my question to him with an "I don't know"?

2) A question that, if had answered it with something reasonable, could have justified the question you want me to answer (admittedly just expanding on question #1)?

3) [W]ill Keith answer any of these questions?

Not so far!

Here's a clue, Keith. Where there's a "?" there's often a question nearby.

How does one plagarize the bible?

Red herring.

http://forums.kearnyontheweb.com/index.php...indpost&p=64074

I told you before that list of quotes was e-mailed to me by a friend.

Uh--you did? Where?

Not that it excuses you from allowing it to appear to be your work.

http://forums.kearnyontheweb.com/index.php...indpost&p=64074

I chose to share it on here.

And if it's copyrighted material, so what?

You are the one that tracked down that is was from an atheist website.

Why didn't you think of that?

Something along these lines, maybe: "I didn't get that particular info from the atheist website that you liked to, but if that's where it origninated in that format then something tells me that they won't mind."

I NEVER claimed to write any of it yet you continue to harp and split hairs that I am a plagarist.

If you had accidentally failed to identify the source of the material, then you would not be a plagiarist. Your description of the events leading to your post suggests that you had no intention of identifying the author, and you seem to have made up the part about revealing that a friend e-mailed it to you.

You seem to have been content to allow people to assume that it was your work, posted at KOTW under your name.

If you don't like the passages that were posted that's your problem. Like I said ....it's your bible and you are still a dick!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There, there, Keith. Even if you were caught using somebody else's material, at least you can still come up with creative insults.

[Guest Guest]

In order to be considered a plagiarist, wouldn't I have needed to claim that I had actually written them?  If you wanted a source, it was .......the BIBLE!

I merely pointed out that they are interesting bible quotes.

If you have a problem with the content, author or source then that is your problem.

If find it interesting that was all of a response that you could come up with. I still challenge to to provide me with indisputable proof of Gods existence.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Still, you should have quoted your source.

[Guest Guest]

Still, you should have quoted your source.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The source was the bible! Idiot!

[Bryan]

The source was the bible! Idiot!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Why do we continue to see that diversion?

http://forums.kearnyontheweb.com/index.php...indpost&p=64074

The OP isn't just a Bible quotation or quotations. It is a series of quotations in a particular order, punctuated with extra-biblical commentary. As such, it has it's own copyright apart from the copyrights applied to most translations of the Bible (The KJV is not copyrighted).

[Guest Guest]

Why do we continue to see that diversion?

http://forums.kearnyontheweb.com/index.php...indpost&p=64074

The OP isn't just a Bible quotation or quotations.  It is a series of quotations in a particular order, punctuated with extra-biblical commentary.  As such, it has it's own copyright apart from the copyrights applied to most translations of the Bible (The KJV is not copyrighted).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dude! give it up already. Ok, so the guy posted someting copyrighted. Get over it!Why don't you comment on the body of the actual bible quotes, Bryan?

[Guest Keith-Marshall,Mo]

Why do we continue to see that diversion?

http://forums.kearnyontheweb.com/index.php...indpost&p=64074

The OP isn't just a Bible quotation or quotations.  It is a series of quotations in a particular order, punctuated with extra-biblical commentary.  As such, it has it's own copyright apart from the copyrights applied to most translations of the Bible (The KJV is not copyrighted).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok fine. I'm tired of this. Color me guilty. That being said I find it amusing that from the original post all you could find to comment on was the source and not the substance. Why don't you grace us with some of your insights on the actual quotes?