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Beck makes the cover of TIME

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The Successful Business Man

by anon.

"And what do you do for a living, Mr. Smart4U?"

"Why, I'm a successful businessman!"

"A successful businessman, eh?

"That's right, sir. One of the most successful!"

"Say, what is it you do there, chap? What is your business?"

"Why, I'm a successful businessman! Certainly you know what that entails."

"Well... No, actually. You haven't told me what it is you do exactly."

"Oh! Right, right. Well I graduated from Rutgers University--"

"Ah! A fine institution!"

"Indeed a fine institution. And of course I graduated with honors!"

"Cum laude! How delightful! My retarded niece just graduated cum laude from that university!"

"Oh nice one, old chap. I assure you it is quite the place of learning, however."

"I don't fib, friend! She was a comparative literature major and simply aced her way through the program. Quite simply I might add."

"Quite, quite"

"Yes, quite. And back to this business of yours! What then does your schedule look like? Surely you must be entertaining clients all day, or seeing to it that your stock is up and such!"

"Yes, yes. See, I told you you know this better than you know."

"Of course, of course. But what again was your position?"

"Successful businessman."

"That's your title?"

"Right, right. Quitely"

"That's a word?"

"Indeed, I heard it on the O'Reilly Factor last night. Kelsey Grammar was a guest, and I quite recall his use of the word quitely quite a few times."

"O'Reilly! Another favorite of my niece's! I should have you introduced! You have so much in common already! Let me ask you, does your desk have a placard with that title on it?"

"Indeed!"

"Quitely!" The old man laughed into pudgy, listless man's face. 2's facial expression became blanker and blanker as the old man continued to taunt him with a new line of questioning about his fictitious position. This time the old man was not letting on. He was simply barraging 2 with obviously stupid inquests about his educational background, what floor he worked on, the color of his secretaries hair.

"Now, Rutgers. That's the one that's always competing with Yale at the top of the ranks, right?"

"Your secretary is a cute little blonde I suppose, yes? All you 'businessmen' have 'em! And I'm sure you have your way with her! Right, right?"

"I bet you have the most beautiful corner office, yes? Nice big windows so you can watch the sun set in the East as you finish the last of the day's work?"

2 was too slick for this last one. He knew he was being mocked, but held his head up. The fat recluse slammed down his whiskey sour, left a one dollar tip on the bar, and stormed away from the white haired creep. Sure he didn't know shit about social demeanor, or what drink to order at a bar. And he didn't have a keen ear for sarcasm... So what? What he had were hours and hours of Bill O'Reilly motivational tapes waiting for him in his 1997 Ford Windstar. For that motor vehicle was truly his office, and listening to Bill was his only real business.

(to be continued)

Don't quit your day job.

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Guest SmKat
I won't waste my time with your nonsensical ramblings, your ideology is so far left you're incapable of understanding conservative viewpoints.

Once again you cower from a challenge. Why is that not surprising?

It's actually you who doesn't understand the conservative ideology. A conservative ideology has nothing to do with calling the people who don't agree with you socialists or loonies. You're not a conservative. You're a racist who is filled with so much hate and misinformation that all you can do is shout at the wind.

Oh, and Beck isn't a true conservative either. Did you hear what he said in his latest interview? He said, "John McCain would have been worse for this country that Barack Obama." Hmmmm...spoken like a true conservative, right? Wrong! All he can do is shout at the wind too.

True conservatives hate your kind because you and your far-right wing nut jobs are what is keeping the Republican party from enjoying a resurgence. The Republican party still has no direction or plan.

So keep up the good work! All of us loonies on the left love you for it.

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Guest 2smart4u
Once again you cower from a challenge. Why is that not surprising?

It's actually you who doesn't understand the conservative ideology. A conservative ideology has nothing to do with calling the people who don't agree with you socialists or loonies. You're not a conservative. You're a racist who is filled with so much hate and misinformation that all you can do is shout at the wind.

Oh, and Beck isn't a true conservative either. Did you hear what he said in his latest interview? He said, "John McCain would have been worse for this country that Barack Obama." Hmmmm...spoken like a true conservative, right? Wrong! All he can do is shout at the wind too.

True conservatives hate your kind because you and your far-right wing nut jobs are what is keeping the Republican party from enjoying a resurgence. The Republican party still has no direction or plan.

So keep up the good work! All of us loonies on the left love you for it.

Page One of the Loony Socialist Handbook: If you can't argue a point, pull the race card, I see you've read the book. I'm glad to see you're watching Beck, there's hope for you. And thank you for your love, when you leave the dark side and come over to the light, I'll love you too.

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Once again you cower from a challenge. Why is that not surprising?

It's actually you who doesn't understand the conservative ideology. A conservative ideology has nothing to do with calling the people who don't agree with you socialists or loonies. You're not a conservative. You're a racist who is filled with so much hate and misinformation that all you can do is shout at the wind.

Oh, and Beck isn't a true conservative either. Did you hear what he said in his latest interview? He said, "John McCain would have been worse for this country that Barack Obama." Hmmmm...spoken like a true conservative, right? Wrong! All he can do is shout at the wind too.

True conservatives hate your kind because you and your far-right wing nut jobs are what is keeping the Republican party from enjoying a resurgence. The Republican party still has no direction or plan.

So keep up the good work! All of us loonies on the left love you for it.

"All of us loonies". Excellent, you're making progress. Recognizing and facing up to your condition is the first step to recovery. Good luck!

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Glenn Beck is senseless, idiotic, and insane. Oh and by the way, can someone please call PETA? He should be taken off the air.

He threw a live frog into boiling water this afternoon on TV and commited murder (maybe; I'm still hoping it may have just been a prop frog, but it's doubtful).

I would love nothing more than the opportunity to ****** *** with common woodworking tools.

I can't believe people actually listen to Glenn Beck. I was just reading an article that he wrote to see why people like him and it was

ridiculous. Democrats are evil apparently. Barack Obama is a racist, and oh, all his policies are from hell too. Is he serious?

Wow, crazier just gets crazier.

You all seem to be so concerned with the local "trash", but Glenn Beck is the one who is ruining America.

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Page One of the Loony Socialist Handbook: If you can't argue a point, pull the race card, I see you've read the book. I'm glad to see you're watching Beck, there's hope for you. And thank you for your love, when you leave the dark side and come over to the light, I'll love you too.

And there you have it. The entire right wingnut playbook.

When you lost the argument, change the subject.

2stupid4words changes the subject a lot.

In fact, pretty much every time.

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Guest SmKat
Page One of the Loony Socialist Handbook: If you can't argue a point, pull the race card, I see you've read the book. I'm glad to see you're watching Beck, there's hope for you. And thank you for your love, when you leave the dark side and come over to the light, I'll love you too.

I believe I did argue the point. You, of course, didn't respond to my thesis. Do you know what a thesis is, Mr. Honors Graduate?

Can you explain to me why you think you're a conservative?

And, of course, you zeroed in on one word in my post - "racist." Look this up moron - the word racist can mean so very much more than a person who hates another due to color. It can also mean someone who hates another because of a point of view, ideology, or religion.

You really are an idiot.

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Guest SmKat
"All of us loonies". Excellent, you're making progress. Recognizing and facing up to your condition is the first step to recovery. Good luck!

Is that all you have? You can't come back to me with any intelligent argument or retort?

Of course you can't. Go stand in the corner.

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Guest 2smart4u
Glenn Beck is senseless, idiotic, and insane. Oh and by the way, can someone please call PETA? He should be taken off the air.

He threw a live frog into boiling water this afternoon on TV and commited murder (maybe; I'm still hoping it may have just been a prop frog, but it's doubtful).

I would love nothing more than the opportunity to ****** *** with common woodworking tools.

I can't believe people actually listen to Glenn Beck. I was just reading an article that he wrote to see why people like him and it was

ridiculous. Democrats are evil apparently. Barack Obama is a racist, and oh, all his policies are from hell too. Is he serious?

Wow, crazier just gets crazier.

You all seem to be so concerned with the local "trash", but Glenn Beck is the one who is ruining America.

By your own admission, you're watching him on TV and reading his articles. I think you're secretly a Beck fan, good for you.

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Look this up moron - the word racist can mean so very much more than a person who hates another due to color. It can also mean someone who hates another because of a point of view, ideology, or religion.

You seem to have confused "racist" with "bigot".

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Guest SmKat
You seem to have confused "racist" with "bigot".

Granted, bigot is a better word but it essentially mean the same thing. Hate is hate - use whatever word you'd like to describe someone who is filled with it.

"Useless" is another word that comes to mind.

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Glenn Beck is senseless, idiotic, and insane. Oh and by the way, can someone please call PETA? He should be taken off the air.

He threw a live frog into boiling water this afternoon on TV and commited murder (maybe; I'm still hoping it may have just been a prop frog, but it's doubtful).

I would love nothing more than the opportunity to ****** *** with common woodworking tools.

I can't believe people actually listen to Glenn Beck. I was just reading an article that he wrote to see why people like him and it was

ridiculous. Democrats are evil apparently. Barack Obama is a racist, and oh, all his policies are from hell too. Is he serious?

Wow, crazier just gets crazier.

You all seem to be so concerned with the local "trash", but Glenn Beck is the one who is ruining America.

Wrong again.

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By your own admission, you're watching him on TV and reading his articles. I think you're secretly a Beck fan, good for you.

He's not watching very closely if he thinks Beck used a live frog.

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The Successful Business Man

by anon.

"And what do you do for a living, Mr. Smart4U?"

"Why, I'm a successful businessman!"

"A successful businessman, eh?

"That's right, sir. One of the most successful!"

"Say, what is it you do there, chap? What is your business?"

"Why, I'm a successful businessman! Certainly you know what that entails."

"Well... No, actually. You haven't told me what it is you do exactly."

"Oh! Right, right. Well I graduated from Rutgers University--"

"Ah! A fine institution!"

"Indeed a fine institution. And of course I graduated with honors!"

"Cum laude! How delightful! My retarded niece just graduated cum laude from that university!"

"Oh nice one, old chap. I assure you it is quite the place of learning, however."

"I don't fib, friend! She was a comparative literature major and simply aced her way through the program. Quite simply I might add."

"Quite, quite"

"Yes, quite. And back to this business of yours! What then does your schedule look like? Surely you must be entertaining clients all day, or seeing to it that your stock is up and such!"

"Yes, yes. See, I told you you know this better than you know."

"Of course, of course. But what again was your position?"

"Successful businessman."

"That's your title?"

"Right, right. Quitely"

"That's a word?"

"Indeed, I heard it on the O'Reilly Factor last night. Kelsey Grammar was a guest, and I quite recall his use of the word quitely quite a few times."

"O'Reilly! Another favorite of my niece's! I should have you introduced! You have so much in common already! Let me ask you, does your desk have a placard with that title on it?"

"Indeed!"

"Quitely!" The old man laughed into pudgy, listless man's face. 2's facial expression became blanker and blanker as the old man continued to taunt him with a new line of questioning about his fictitious position. This time the old man was not letting on. He was simply barraging 2 with obviously stupid inquests about his educational background, what floor he worked on, the color of his secretaries hair.

"Now, Rutgers. That's the one that's always competing with Yale at the top of the ranks, right?"

"Your secretary is a cute little blonde I suppose, yes? All you 'businessmen' have 'em! And I'm sure you have your way with her! Right, right?"

"I bet you have the most beautiful corner office, yes? Nice big windows so you can watch the sun set in the East as you finish the last of the day's work?"

2 was too slick for this last one. He knew he was being mocked, but held his head up. The fat recluse slammed down his whiskey sour, left a one dollar tip on the bar, and stormed away from the white haired creep. Sure he didn't know shit about social demeanor, or what drink to order at a bar. And he didn't have a keen ear for sarcasm... So what? What he had were hours and hours of Bill O'Reilly motivational tapes waiting for him in his 1997 Ford Windstar. For that motor vehicle was truly his office, and listening to Bill was his only real business.

(to be continued)

News flash!! The sun sets in the west. Dummy.

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News flash!! The sun sets in the west. Dummy.

It's called sarcasm. Had you read the post you would have noticed that the whole thing was a poke at 2dims inability to understand the simplest of things.

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I don't like that Glenn Beck is considered a cynic by Lindsay Graham. It gives us cynics a bad name. With all these young rednecks (and at least one self-proclaimed "highly educated business man"; 2smart4u) enamored with him, it makes you wonder what they have been doing in the barnyard. They'd all hate gravity if Glenn Beck told them to. A mindless un-American bigot - I know that's not profound, just the simple truth.

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Guest 2smart4u
I don't like that Glenn Beck is considered a cynic by Lindsay Graham. It gives us cynics a bad name. With all these young rednecks (and at least one self-proclaimed "highly educated business man"; 2smart4u) enamored with him, it makes you wonder what they have been doing in the barnyard. They'd all hate gravity if Glenn Beck told them to. A mindless un-American bigot - I know that's not profound, just the simple truth.

Hmmm, considering Beck is #1 in his time slot and has two best-selling books, there must be a scarey number of mindless un-American bigots running around out there.

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Guest Keith
Hmmm, considering Beck is #1 in his time slot and has two best-selling books, there must be a scarey number of mindless un-American bigots running around out there.

Yep, you are right about that.

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Hmmm, considering Beck is #1 in his time slot and has two best-selling books, there must be a scarey number of mindless un-American bigots running around out there.

Yes, unfortunately there are --- it appears that most of them can't even spell the word "scary" correctly. What's your degree in again? Deception?

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First of all, he looks like a crazed doorman on the cover of his new book. Secondly, the only reason that his book is a best seller is because of the South and ignorant people such as yourself! Otherwise, he is still an irrelevant nuisance to the majority of our population, which I'm extremely thankful for. I would much rather believe that he is in it for the money than have to accept that he really believes in half of the the lies he insists on "exposing".

As far as I'm concerned, Glenn Beck's popularity is poison to the conservative movement, so I am glad that all of the brain dead (2smart4u) blatant hypocrites are promoting him so aggressively. Again, the man is psychotic. Why can't they have sane conservatives on Fox news that make decent and reasonable points? It's because they love controversy and ratings, always have. The man makes absolutely no sense. He is the biggest threat to our values. God forbid he let FACT influence his views. It doesn't make me proud that he too can call himself an American.

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Yes, unfortunately there are --- it appears that most of them can't even spell the word "scary" correctly. What's your degree in again? Deception?

That's your best response? Ignore the topic and point out a typo? Juvenile.

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Guest 2smart4u
First of all, he looks like a crazed doorman on the cover of his new book. Secondly, the only reason that his book is a best seller is because of the South and ignorant people such as yourself! Otherwise, he is still an irrelevant nuisance to the majority of our population, which I'm extremely thankful for. I would much rather believe that he is in it for the money than have to accept that he really believes in half of the the lies he insists on "exposing".

As far as I'm concerned, Glenn Beck's popularity is poison to the conservative movement, so I am glad that all of the brain dead (2smart4u) blatant hypocrites are promoting him so aggressively. Again, the man is psychotic. Why can't they have sane conservatives on Fox news that make decent and reasonable points? It's because they love controversy and ratings, always have. The man makes absolutely no sense. He is the biggest threat to our values. God forbid he let FACT influence his views. It doesn't make me proud that he too can call himself an American.

"the only reason his book is a bestseller is because of the South" ??? You've just identified yourself as a absolute idiot. Whatever credibility you think you had was just flushed down the toilet. Even the other Loonies on KOTW are laughing at that one.

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"the only reason his book is a bestseller is because of the South" ??? You've just identified yourself as a absolute idiot. Whatever credibility you think you had was just flushed down the toilet. Even the other Loonies on KOTW are laughing at that one.

Thank you for proving how mildly educated you really are. By "The South" I was referring to how the mentality of his disciples (nationwide) is based around the understanding and premise of the political issues of the south --- RACE AND RELIGION. Imagine mixing Hitler with a KKK member, a super evil and a Christian from the south and that is Glenn Beck. Southerners are by nature self-idealists. They would like to believe the best about themselves and their people. The south is where he's built his fortress. There are two sets of people who are buying his book --- those who genuinely like him (WTF) and those who are only curious to read his latest street corner rants for their own entertainment purposes. Do not confuse society's need for shock value with any sort of positive popularity for Glenn Beck as a result of his increased book sales. If Hitler was still alive and wrote a book today, I guarantee you that his book would also be a best seller.

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